Discussion Essay IELTS Sample: Band 9

The essay below is a band 9 model IELTS essay

IELTS Writing Discussion Essay Practice Question

Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Discussion Essay IELTS Sample Band 9 Response

Choosing a career can be a challenging process. It can be difficult to say whether this decision should be made alone, or made with input from loved ones. In my opinion, it is best to find one’s career independently, with no more than a small amount of advice from family or friends. Below, I will explain why I feel that we must ultimately face career decisions on our own.

Getting career guidance input from loved ones can be confusing rather than useful. Family and friends likely have different careers, and thus give different, conflicting advice. Suppose, for instance, that your father is a teacher, your mother is an accountant, and your best friend is a nurse. They have all made very different career decisions, and only have knowledge on their respective careers. Different people will likely only steer you to their careers, without giving good advice on your own best path.

In contrast, focusing on one’s own preferences and skills provides a clearer path to the right career. After all, individuals have the best knowledge of their own abilities and interests. As an example, if someone has gone to university to study biology, they will know more about biology careers than a family member or friend who does not have that same kind of training. Ultimately, your career must be built on your own training and experience, not the training and experience of others.

For the reasons I’ve outlined above, I really do believe that career decisions are a matter of personal knowledge. Other people, even trusted family and friends, simply cannot understand your career the way you can. To select your field of work wisely, you must face this important decision alone.

Scorer Commentary (Discussion IELTS Essay Sample, Band 9)

The score report below is based on the official IELTS Writing Task 2 rubric.

Overall Band Score: 9

• CATEGORY: 9
• TASK ACHIEVEMENT/RESPONSE: 9
• COHERENCE AND COHESION: 9
• LEXICAL RESOURCE: 9
• GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY: 9
• SCORE: 9

What was done well in the essay:

• At 283 words, this essay exceeded the 250 word minimum. (This is very important for getting full points!)
• Each part of the task was fully addressed. Both sides of the issue were discussed in the first and second body paragraphs. Moreover, reasons and relevant examples were included.
• Each paragraph had its own clear topic sentence and supporting details, with explanations of the details, and summarization of the most important ideas.
• Transitional language was used to clearly tie in all paragraphs to clear main ideas from the introduction and conclusion.
• Vocabulary and grammar were used clearly and fluently. There were no serious errors in grammar or word use; word choice and sentence structure varied and avoided significant repetition.

Source: magoosh ielts